Those Womanly Functions....

So it’s a beautiful day outside after a couple of weeks of schizophrenic weather. Thank God for the Vitamin D infusion! At least the weather mirrored my overall mental health—cold, warm, up, down. In perimenopause or menopause, you got to expect that it is going to be that way. A screaming banshee at one moment and tea drinker with her pinky out the next. In a bizarre sort of way, I like how it keeps the men in my family jumping. They never really know what to expect. Of course it doesn’t always have to be out loud, in public, these rages. Most of them are inside and just sound loud inside my own head.

Recently I read an article titled Not Your Mother’s Menopause, in More magazine-March 2008 issue. Two doctors, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson and Dr. Donnica Moore, were interviewed in this article. Both were associated with women’s health organizations. One doctor was in a perimenopause. The other was in the middle of menopause. I liked when they talked about postmenopausal zest, a term coined by anthropologist Margaret Mead. Apparently, some women experience a sense of sadness at the finality of it. They quoted one woman as saying, “The blood is no longer going down, so it’s going to your brain.” Something they say is not biologically correct (You think!), but metaphorically correct.

But for me, it has been over for a long time. I am infertile. I couldn’t have a baby without significant intervention from a fertility specialist. I had unexplained infertility. Thankfully, we were able to have a son via GIFT surgery. But I have not used any kind of birth control since my son was born—over twelve years. So I had to rethink, a long time ago, what these types of womanly functions were to me. Believe me for a long time, I felt broken. A woman is supposed to be able to have a baby. Right? But now it is maddening to have a period, as sporadic as it is, because it seems so utterly useless. A waste of time. Why have menstruations when you cannot conceive? So basically I feel like I have been in menopause for a long time even though I still have gotten a period. So postmenopausal zest will be just that for me. A blast. A party. A complete and utter savings in the cost of mini, maxi, midi pads and tampons! I can throw them all away or turn them into confetti for the party that is bound to come.